Life is not in compartments. Our personal lives flow into our work lives and affect everything we think, feel and do. We need blends in our life, approaches which are holistic and help us progress through challenging times as well as expand our own personal growth and awareness.
That got me to formally offer up a service which is more than just business or life coaching.
Nurturing and Growth – Give yourself permission to release your full potential
If you need help business and personal, emotional or whatever let’s chat with a no-obligation discussion.
That’s what EAGLEMELD* is all about.
Your needs as they are now and how you wish to develop over these coming times. My ethos is to focus on your specific needs/challenges e.g. people or things and ambitions and help you develop the immediate techniques and far sight to see where you want to go and achieve those objectives joyously.
* A meld of things is a mixture or combination of them that is useful or pleasant
Collins English Dictionary:
I have been mentoring folks for more than twenty years and drawing on my array of business and life experience. Our session will be focussed specifically on your unique situation and we may apply a range of techniques and approaches to help achieve your objectives.
My qualifications for helping include:
Business A 40-year business career with leading companies around the planet.
Awards in Customer Service, Customer Experience, Lifetime Achievement, Business Process Management and Enterprise Architecture. Best selling book author (eight books).
Lifeskills More than 25 years of therapeutic experience.
Accreditations as a Master Hypnotist, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Master Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, Reiki Master and latterly Coming to Wholeness Practitioner.
Holistic Integration of several approaches aligned to YOUR needs.
What is your North Star? We will discover that and help you to accomplish all you desire.
If you need guidance in business and personal relationships, emotional or whatever just give me a no-obligation call.
Achieving personal success is naturally, one would think, a precursor to delivering amazing results in the business environment. Or so it would seem, however many business approaches and techniques are taught in a vacuum isolated away from the you and me, the individual. So that was what the phenomenally growing www.successfulpersonaloutcomes.com series is all about.
Since it’s launch 3 months ago we have delivered more than 100,000 video downloads and reached into the hearts and minds of so many aspiring folks, who if you like me believe so much business improvement misses that vital ingredient – the you and me. The SPO series addresses head on how to achieve personal success. Get that right and everything else will follow. So time to pay homage to my inspirators (is that actually a word?) that encouraged my successful career and enable me to share some of those hard won secrets so that you too can achieve extraordinary things and live your life to its full potential.
Pleasingly I am still younger than any and all of these guys…
Richard Bandler
Richard Bandler The co-founder of NLP and an inspiration over the last five decades. Author of numerous books and materials that variously help you transform the way you see and experience the world.
He helped me see beyond the limiting hallucinations around our business and personal lives.
John Grinder
John Grinder
The other co-founder of NLP. Worked with Richard Bandler to formulate and explore NLP. The more sober of the two he eventually went his separate way to explore the meanings and structure beyond NLP.
His fine language structures will help you to reframe the way you describe the world so others can have better life experiences.
Steve Andreas & Steve Towers
Steve Andreas
My truest mentor. In fact he helped Bandler and Grinder structure much of their work and his enormous modesty and insights continue to help people see and feel better.
Shunning the limelight of Bandler and Grinder he has been and continues to be a global inspiration to many.
Steve’s softly spoken ways helped me explore those inner resources that we can all discover with a little help.
Charles Faulkner
Charles Faulkner Brilliant and witty his teachings occasionally run ahead of his students, only to later reveal those ‘ah-ah’ moments that change the world forever.
A gifted speaker and coach he pushes you to ask for more. He helps you to seek the truth beyond your previous limitations and in doing so be a better you.
Wilf Proudfoot
Wilf Proudfoot Now this guy was a genius. In so many walks of life he redefined our world. He created pirate radio. He launched the world’s first supermarkets. As a Member of Parliament and politician he steered Britain to decimalisation (you need to understand the British to see what an achievement that was!).
He is an unsung hero to many in so many different ways. For me he introduced a new universe of thinking and practice. It was Wilfs inspiration that brought me to Colorado. It was his teachings that opened the door to Customer Centric and Outside-In thinking. He is most likely the reason why I enjoy doing all this stuff.
Virginia Satir Our paths never crossed however her work around family and child therapies has inspired so many to bring that learning into our everyday lives. Virginia inspired me to become a Medical Hypnotherapist to explore how we can help each other help each other. Her work and writings are still fresh and incisive as a recommended read on the journey to self knowledge on behalf of others. Conclusion I would encourage you to explore these folks (Google/Wikipedia etc.) and drawdown just some of their works. At the least it will add color to your life, and if you are receptive will potentially change your universe forever.
An internationally recognized program with proven track record delivered by been there and done it coaches more than 150 times, in 57 cities with delegates from 108 countries. The program, now in its tenth year, utilizes the BP Groups approaches and framework to help you and your organization win the triple crown – simultaneously reduce costs, grow revenues and enhance service. Producing Immediate and sustainable business results across any industry and sector.
We are all potential victims of stress. The big project, the presentation to senior management, the delivery of a plan. In many ways we become our own victims and arrive at the anointed moment in no fit state at all. In my NLP* practice, and especially in the context of the wonderful guys at NLP Comprehensive in Colorado I am reposting this very apt piece which talks precisely to how the US Navy Seals cope with stress (and make it their friend) to achieve amazing things literally under fire.
If you would like to extend your skills into NLP and the latest brain sciences then I strongly recommend the guys in the Rockies at NLP Comprehensive – http://www.nlpco.com
Navy Seal Toughness
Tom Hoobyar
This is about using NLP to control stress reactions, and I’m going to use new research from our toughest military training as an example of what’s possible.
Our U.S. Navy SEALs have the reputation of being the best commandos ever created. A Navy SEAL is someone who has survived the most challenging military training in the world.
SEAL stands for Sea, Air, and Land fighting, and these guys do it all, from swimming underwater to jumping out of airplanes.
Those who pass the training demonstrate an almost superhuman ability to keep functioning in very stressful situations. In other words, they can keep functioning effectively when a normal person would be totally controlled by their primitive fight, flight or freeze reactions.
Like where things are blowing up and people are shooting at you.
What has this to do with NLP? Let me give you some background and then I’ll tell you how NLP can be super-useful here.
But first I have to tell you about a problem the Navy had. You see, the selection process for SEAL candidates was tough. But even when they had a batch of super qualified prospects, they were losing over 75% of them during the first weeks of training.
This is a very expensive situation. Navy psychologists looked at the failures and found something interesting.
The prospects who failed didn’t lack physical ability. Even though the training ordeals were extreme the candidates were able to do the job.
Nope, it wasn’t muscles – it was mental. And that’s interesting because the average SEAL I.Q. is way above the military norm and many of them have graduate degrees.
The ones who “washed out” didn’t control their instinctive reactions to stress. They simply froze or folded when the challenges got too demanding.
Mental toughness. That’s what the Navy decided to research, so they could keep more of these well-qualified candidates. Learning how to use their “software” to control their bodies’ “hardware”.
Clearly, intelligent people get scared too. Maybe it’s even a mark of thoughtful people, but fortunately smart people can learn more self-management also.
The SEAL Command Psychologist, Commander Eric Potterat, listed four key mental techniques that are now being taught to SEAL candidates. He found that these mental techniques can be taught to any willing person and they would increase an individual’s performance under stress levels where most of us would just shut down.
The “mental toughness” program was so effective that it increased the Navy SEAL pass rate by over one third.
These skills are now being taught to college students facing exams, fighter pilots, and key executives in some companies.
Here are the “Big Four” mental skills taught to Navy SEALs:
1) Goal-setting. I don’t mean “what are you going to do with your life”. I mean, “How are you going to get through the next half hour”? Turns out that this kind of close-focused goal-setting is a key to peak performance anywhere. It doesn’t matter whether a person is on a stage, in an athletic competition, or in the middle of a fire-fight. It is simple, and proven. One major way to combat stress is to NARROW YOUR FOCUS to the immediate future.
NLP skills can really enrich this technique. Just focus on what the next phase of your work will need from you – maybe just the next few minutes – and zoom in on that.
2) Mental rehearsal, or Visualization. How often do you imagine success doing something you may be anxious about? Take a moment now, and give this a try. See what it will be like when you do that thing successfully and easily. Notice how your body feels and what you hear and smell. Do this over and over again and you are providing your brain with extra experience of success.
Does this sound like an elemental NLP process? You bet. Besides increasing the SEAL graduation rate, one report I read said this simple technique raised nervous college test-takers’ GRE scores by over 150 points.
3) Take Charge of Your Self Talk. We are constantly talking to ourselves, at a rate that is many times the speed of normal speech. So when you notice something negative say “Stop!” or “Cancel!” and then create your own “cheering section” to be your encouraging chorus. Have them (or your own voice, whatever works) say “You can do it” – “This is easy!” “Forget that glitch – focus on the next one!”
Again, this is something we’ve done dozens of times in our NLP training. Now you get to use it in life.
4) Arousal Control. This skill is used to calm the physical symptoms of a panic response. You know, the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, sudden cold sweats or hot spells.
You control this response with deliberate breathing.
You know your primitive brain will trigger reactions that might be useful for escaping a hungry bear, but not so useful when you’re trying to talk with your boss, negotiate through traffic, or working through a family debate.
So, INHALE DEEPLY (for a count of six), hold it for a count of two, then exhale for a count of six, emptying your lungs. Do this three times.
Practice this anytime during the day. It will become your instant stress control and will lower your blood pressure and flood your brain with oxygen, increasing your ability to think and react thoughtfully.
Give this “Big Four” skills a try – and you may find that you’re becoming more resilient and a little bit more of a “fearless warrior” in your personal life.
* What is NLP? “Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful system of thinking that can accelerate the achievement of your personal and professional goals …Some of my favorite trainers are…Steve Andreas and the folks at NLP Comprehensive in Colorado.” — Jack Canfield, The Success Principles, p 448
Here is a terrific example from one of my professional associations (NLP Comprehensive) of creating the right language in and around Outside-In thinking and practice.
This extract comes courtesy of NLP thought leaders in Colorado and I would strongly encourage deeper investigation, and if you can spending some time with these extremely fine souls.
Steve Andreas – A Guide and Mentor to many (self included)
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Happy Tuesday!
Can you believe we’re already half way through August? It’s amazing how quickly the years fly by, isn’t it?
This week I thought I would share an article that is near and dear to my heart. The “But” rule. It is a fascinating rule, and one that if followed will serve you well. Let me know what you think of it!
And if you’d like even more education and practice with language and how it can affect your communications and relationships I would recommend you pick up the Portable Practitioner. Packed with useful and applicable information you can use to improve the choices you have it is one of our most powerful tools available. So grab your copy today and start making changes in your life by visiting http://www.nlpco.com/nlp-training/nlp-practioner-home-study/ and picking up the Portable Practitioner program today.
Use Your Buts Well by Steve Andreas 1181 words, 4.7 minutes reading time One powerful aspect of NLP is to discover what kind of internal experience is elicited by the use of specific language. This enables us to use language in a very directed way in order to get the results that we want. Often the careful examination of a single word yields great dividends, and the word “but” is certainly one of them. “But” is a negator (Fritz Perls used to call it a “killer”) of whatever experience immediately precedes the word. For me, the image preceding the word “but” quickly slides to my left, disappearing out of my field of internal vision. So “but” is very useful any time you want to (or have to) mention something to someone, but then you want it to diminish in importance or even disappear from their awareness altogether.
Notice what happens in your internal experience when you take any two contents, connect them with “but,” and then repeat this, but reversing the two contents. A tired old joke illustrates this nicely. The mother says to the daughter: “I know he’s ugly, but he’s rich.” and the daughter replies, “Mother, you are so right. I know he’s rich, but he’s ugly.”
So the other side of the coin is to be able to use “but” to defend yourself against a communication that asks you to ignore something that is important to you.
When people are cautious or wary, they often tend to respond defensively, and may oppose whatever someone else says, and find problems with it, no matter how sensible the suggestion might be. In such a situation, often the other person will reply, “Yes, but . . .” (negating the “Yes” agreement) and then respond with an opposite opinion. “Yes, I can see that, but there is a problem with it.” Once someone is focused on a problem, it is easy to get “tunnel vision” and forget that the reason for studying a problem is to find a way to make the suggestion work. Many people then become frustrated because they are stuck with discussing a problem, and don’t know how to get the conversation back to the suggestion that they want the other person to consider.
One alternative is to repeat what the person just said, but replacing the word “but” with “and.” “OK, you can see that, and there is a problem with it.” This keeps both of the representations (the suggestion and the problem) connected together in the person’s awareness, and the problem can be considered in the context of the possible advantages of the suggestion.
If you expect that your suggestion is likely to be met with a “Yes, but” response, you can make the first move and state the reverse of what you want the person to consider. Someone who “Yes, buts” consistently will usually feel compelled to reverse it. In the example above, if the daughter (knowing that her mother is a “Yes-butter),” says, “I don’t know . . . he’s ugly, but he’s rich,” the mother is likely to respond, “Yes, he’s rich, but he’s ugly.” If the mother doesn’t reverse it, the daughter can always follow up with the reversal-and now her position is one of considering both sides of the matter, so she can’t be accused of being stuck in one narrow point of view!
Another very effective use of “but” is as a preemptive move with someone who tends to respond frequently with a “Yes, but,” or someone you expect to respond in this way because of the content, context, etc. Since they unconsciously process with the “Yes, but” pattern, they will also process unconsciously when you use the same pattern with them.
For example, let’s say you want to make a proposal to your boss, who you know from experience tends to find objections, or respond negatively and reject the entire proposal. “You will probably think what I have to say is really crazy, . . . but I’d like to offer you my proposal and see what you think.” If the boss tends to respond in opposition, he will first have to disagree with what precedes the “but” (especially if you pause for a half-second before the “but”), and this will put him into an attitude of agreement with what you will say next. At this point, the boss has already had the opportunity to respond negatively, and then the “but” will tend to push this aside, so he is more likely to simply consider the proposal on its merits. If you’re pretty sure that someone is going to oppose what you say, giving him something else to object to, allows him to approach the proposal itself with an open mind.
You can also invite him to find flaws in your proposal (which is something that you know he will likely do anyway). “You will probably think what I have to say is really crazy, . . . but I’d like to offer you my proposal and have you point out the problems with it.” If he is likely to respond in opposition to whatever you propose, he will also be likely to oppose your suggestion to find flaws in your proposal, and be at least a little less vigorous in doing this. By inviting him to find flaws, you have allied yourself with what he will do anyway, so there is no opposition. He may still find objections to it, but likely without the defensive and critical attitude that otherwise would have been there.
Then when he finds something to object to in the proposal and says, “Yes, but this (X) is a problem,” you can say, “Yes, I see that (X) could be a problem, but if we can find a way to deal with that, I think that the proposal as a whole could still be worth exploring in more detail, because. . . (of the profit potential, etc.).” This is using the “Yes, but” in response to a “Yes, butter” in a way that can keep the discussion going usefully. Again, you are allied with the boss, and together you can consider both the proposal and the problems with it.
When someone says, “Yes (X), but (Y),” you can also include their entire “Yes, but” response as the “Yes” part of your “Yes, but” reply. “Yes, what you just said is clearly important to consider, but I think that (Z) (whatever you want him/her to consider next) is also worth thinking about.” You can continue this kind of move as many times as you want in order to keep the discussion going in a useful direction. Since most people have great difficulty consciously tracking even one such move, this can be particularly effective in getting people to continue paying attention to what you think is important, and to continue considering and discussing it.
These are all very useful ways to keep a discussion on track and not get caught up in struggling with peoples’ habitual and defensive responses. But all these moves, no matter how skillfully done, will not salvage a lousy proposal, no matter how clever you are.
Steve Andreas, with his wife Connirae, has been learning, teaching, and developing patterns in NLP since 1977. Steve is the author of a number of NLP articles and books, including Heart of the Mind, and has produced many videotapes and audiotaped demonstrations of specific NLP patterns for personal change.
Coming Events:
Resolving PTSD: The Many Aspects With Steve Andreas ***FINAL CHANCE*** August 15-18 2013 Boulder, Colorado PTSD often comes with a cluster of “companion issues.” Learn how to recognize the different aspects of PTSD, and how to resolve each of them. Tuition: $650 CEU’s available http://andreasnlptrainings.com/resolving-ptsd/
Coming to Wholeness with Connirae Andreas Sept. 14-15, Boulder, CO If you are interested in spirituality, personal growth, NLP, or you just want a way to deal with stress that actually works, this training is for you. More Info & Register! http://andreasnlptrainings.com/wholeness/
Core Transformation With Tamara Andreas No Will-Power, No Discipline, No Positive Thinking, Just You! Oct. 11-13, 2013 Boulder, Colorado Earlybird Rate! $395 – Save $80 by registering by Sept 20. Regular Tuition: $475 Read more: http://www.nlpco.com/training/core-transformation-1/
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” ― Isaac Newton,
We should all have mentors. People who have taught us the fundamental values of life, its meaning and its ways. Of course many of us will look directly to our parents and siblings for they give us the very structure and meaning to our early learning. Beyond that we all come into contact, sometimes without knowing, of great minds and inspirational folks.
Steve Andreas and Steve Towers, Colorado 2005
I have been privileged in my life to meet and spend time with truly extraordinary (and to me mind blowing people) in many walks of life, personal, business, family and trusted friends.
Today I want to link you with and share the thoughts of someone who I read, watched and subsequently met. An unsung hero to many he inspires us daily and I would say he his responsible for many of my thoughts and teachings on Successful Customer Outcomes and Outside In.
If you are looking for that extra insight, that thing that can move your soul I can heartily recommend Steve’s work. You will find personal and spiritual guidance that hopefully, like me, provides you with a constant source of ah-ah moments and helps you with others. Enjoy.
This is lifted directly from Steve’s blog – you can link to the full article here and after the introduction.
Oh, and PS. – for client read also organization!
Client Intervention Planning Exercise
Many approaches to therapy are purely, or mostly, reactive. The classic example is Freud’s analytic method of sitting behind the couch out of sight of the client, quietly listening, and only occasionally making interpretations about what the client says. Carl Rogers listened and reflected back the words and feelings that clients expressed, in what was called “non-directive listening,” or “active listening.” In many other current approaches, the therapist allows the client to talk freely, and responds to what they say. These approaches usually result in a wandering dialogue that may have little relevance to the client’s outcome — what Fritz Perls often called “free dissociation.”
However, master therapists such as Milton Erickson, Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir were very, very active in interrupting the client’s problem trance state. And they used injunctive language — “Do this,” “Try this” — to elicit alternate states and understandings that were more useful. Erickson used overt hypnosis to create alternate realities, while Satir used her personal expressiveness and role-plays to achieve similar effects without overt hypnosis — and she didn’t like hypnosis. However, an instruction such as, “Get down on your knees to show that you are little,” was a pretty explicit instruction for age regression, a classic hypnotic method. Perls used the “empty chair” to embody troublesome people and events from the client’s past, evoking not only age regression, but what is supposedly one of the most difficult of hypnotic phenomena, positive hallucination, simply by saying, “Put your mother in the chair; what would she say?”
These therapists also deliberately planned the sequence of what they expected to do in a session to reach the client’s outcome, while at the same time respecting, utilizing, and responding to whatever the client did in the session.
In this article I want to present a description of what a client presented to a therapist, ask you to pause to consider what you might do, and make a “treatment plan” outline of what you would do with him. In a recent article in the Psychotherapy Networker magazine, “Living with the Devil You Know,” (January/February 2013) you can link to the full article here
An interesting thought…. People passionate about process realize that everything is process. Even the way we think is a process. One of my inspirations is a guy called Richard Bandler (co founder of NLP). I caught this recent radio interview in the UK recently (13 mins long) that really captures the essence of thinking differently (and changing your process).
